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08 October 2008 @ 12:02 pm
Take the plan, spin it sideways...  

Full Moon is in less than a week, and I'm starting to get sucked in to all of the energy that is floating around. A lot of things have been screwing with my energy patterns lately, and this weekend will be a nice escape from it all. Not only do I have Friday off (and get paid for it), but Russell and I are going camping Friday - Saturday. At the moment, it seems to be exactly what I need. A short getaway from family issues that I really don't want to deal with, and other things. Hopefully it'll be what I need. I've not been sleeping well lately, and have developed some terrible bags under my eyes.

Honestly, with all of the shit that has been going down since we got together, I'm surprised he's still around. Let's face it, the family situation is an absolute mess, not to mention the mental struggle with Ryan. I've been somewhat needy lately, and I feel bad about it. I'm not usually like this, there is just way too much going on. My stress levels are through the roof.

The hospital is transferring Dad to a nursing home today. They're saying he'll be there for at least 2-3 weeks. He can't take care of himself at all right now. The part that pisses me off the most is that he's currently refusing to go to a rehab facility. I'm sick of him acting like he's the only one that matters. He doesn't know, or doesn't care what he's doing to the family. I'm going to go with the "doesn't care" option. It makes the most sense. Before everything happened, I told him that if he loved me, he would go to the doctor. He didn't go.

What does that say to me?

Mom said if he comes home and starts drinking again, that she's filing for divorce. It's not necessarily something that I want to happen, but I think it would be the right thing to do. This is something that has been going on for years, and it's not gotten any better. Only worse.

Currently, I'm trying not to think about how much I want to punch Dad in the face. Instead, I'm looking forward to a weekend escape with my love. Fleeing the state of Ohio and leaving the issues at home. Taking a trip through the caves. Watching the bats fly around when the sun goes down. Sitting by the campfire making 'mallows and just being silly together. It's what we do best.
Feeling: anxiousanxious
Listening to: Pink Dress -- Ayria